Everyday, we see a lots of couples getting married here and there. But if I may ask, how many of them are happily married or having a successful marriage after saying “I do”?
Sometimes last week while I was discussing with two folks that just got married 3 years ago with a kid. This couple were deeply in love with each other before getting married but after having a kid, now they’re seeking for divorce because the love is no more there.
While I was talking to them and also trying to know what must have caused the crisis between them, but I wasn’t getting a reasonable answer from them and all they could said was based on the love they have for each other before getting married.
When I saw the current stage of the situation and then asked again, “why do you want a divorce at this early stage of your marriage”?
All they kept saying was that they loved each other before, with the way they live and do things together, how people praise and jealous the love they have for each other made them to get married without having a second thought.
So with all their thoughts and feelings, they felt that getting married to each other is the only way to make themselves happy all the rest of their lives.
Now, having heard their love story, you should know that this couple were the victim of the “in love” illusion.
Every time, I often tell my friends about this “falling in love” things which is just a phrase people use for deceiving one another.
One thing about this “falling in love” phrase is that, when we notice that we are in love with someone, we feel that it is the right time for marriage.
But it’s absolutely “NO” because being in love is not a sufficient foundation on which to build a successful marriage. Being in love is an emotional and obsessive experience which I want you to know today that emotions changes and obsession fades as well.
Research has proved that the average life span of the “in love” obsession is just 2 to 3 years which might sometimes not even up to as the case might be.
One advise I do give any couple before getting married is to have a date with that person who you want to marry and know the person very well before saying “I do”.
I believe that the primary purpose of dating is to know each other better in terms of strength, weakness and compatibility. While dating, if you discover that your value systems and goals are contradictory to each other, it’s better you let go of that relationship instead of managing it and hoping that it will be better some day.
Just know that being in love is not a guarantee that you would have a successful marriage and also a broken relationship is far better that a broken marriage.
So, before choosing that special person to spend the rest of your life with, I would like you to sit back and analyze the the relationship before you make that expensive mistake in life.
In my next post, I’ll be writing on how to know if you’re compatible for marriage. Meanwhile, I would like you to share this post among your friends on social media so that they could learn how to have a successful marriage as well. If you have any question to ask, do not hesitate to use the comment box below.