Getting a girlfriend is not difficult at all. The major things that makes it difficult is fear and anxiety. This should not kill your motive because that girl you wish to ask out is equally full of anxiety and little fear.
You’ve probably been reminiscing about that girl; she’s special, she’s beautiful, etc. You finally summoned the courage to ask her out and she seems to accept after giving it a thought.
However, that is not the end of it all. You have to know that there is no secret or tricks to successful dating. But here are the things you need to do to make things easier for the both of you.
1. All in the approach
This goes beyond the known formula of bathing and the use of perfume for first good impression although this is very vital. You really have to approach her with respect.
When you ask her out, try evaluating what she’s up for. Mention an activity like goung to a cinemas or a sporting event like basketball and try finding out what she thinks of it. That way, you are letting her know that you will always give room for her considerations.
If she does not welcome any of your first suggestions, try another. If she gives you an affirmaive no, take a hint and know when to back off. Ladies hate been pushed against their will.
2. It’s all about her
During the date, focus on her and not yourself. This creates the impression that you are very caring. This starts at the door, open the door for her to get in. Gone are the days when strong ladies get offended when a door is opened for them. Excercise good and basc manners, if it’s cold out there, give her your jacket.
If you are a bit nervous, dont be scared. She’s just as scared as you. Just be free with yourself, be free with your speech. It’s your job to ease her anxieties by looking into eyes and smile when you’re communicating with her.
Dating is all about interacting, engage yourself in discussions with her. Most importantly, discuss about her and her personal interest. If you are the chatty type, remember to give her room to bring up conversations.
If you are not the chatty type, bring up a conversation that will engage the both of you in the conversation like sporting activities, school activities or what happened in the cinemas.
Keep the first date short and simple. The longer a first date, the chances problems and faults are realized in each other.
3. Put Away The Phone
I dont need to tell you that making use of your phone while in a conversation on a first date kills your chances of having her as your girlfriend. This habit makes you look awkward. More anxieties and false impressions is created in her mind mind because of such habit.
If the first date was memorable and a successful one at that, the thought of calling her immediately should not be done as this makes you look too eager and desperate.
All you get is words when you text and email her immediately afte4 your first date. Just give her room to think over the exicting things that happened on the first date. If you must do follow up, do that in person after 3-4 days or better still call her on phone.
The tune of her voice will let you know how she felt concerning the first date but meeting her in person is the best. It tell many things about her interests in the new relationship.
4. Get Real
Once you start dating, its normal to think that your girlfriend revolves around the world. At first, its infactuations, feelings and even lust although these things brings about true love in the long run sometimes. Try not to put too much pressure on her or the relationship. Real love is a matter of choice and behaviour. It is about caring and growing.
You need to give her and yourself the chance to grow as individuals and as ambitious ones. Balance your schedule, make out time to spend time with her, hang out with your male friends also. You still have to remain active in your sporting activities.
She can’t always be your first priority and she can’t always replace what is most important to you. When you’re with her, live in the moment. Try not to worry about commitment or the distant future. She’s a friend, so enjoy your time with her. Dating should be fun.
5. Take the High Road
Rejection is part of dating. It’s hard. But how you handle the end of a relationship can be just as important as how you handled the beginning.
If she breaks up with you, try not to get mad. “Boys turn sadness into anger,” Kalish says. “They tend to lash out.”
It’s OK to go home and cry. It’s not OK to smear her reputation or stalk her. Respect her space. Remember, the reason she gave you for the breakup may not be the true reason. (Kalish says her research shows that 90% of the time, the parents cause the breakup.) Besides, if you really like her, you don’t want to ruin the chances that you might get back together someday.
On the other hand, if you do the breaking up, do it respectfully. Not by email or text and certainly not over social media. But you might not want to do it in person, either. A phone call may be the way to go, Kalish says. “It’s a bit colder in a way, but it’s safer for her,” Kalish says. “At least on the phone, she won’t be embarrassed.”
Letting her down respectfully makes the breakup easier on you and her, and it makes you look like a good guy. That’s a great reputation to have if you want to date other girls in the same school.