My best advice for a newly married couple? Never ever forget the basics! There is no real magic formula for making a marriage work, it all comes back to doing what you started doing in the beginning that made the two of you come together. The basics are what go out the window over time and lead to issues.
Be intentional about your marriage, I’ve never once counseled a couple that told me they intended for their marriage to end up in the spot they were in. If you aren’t intentional about making this a priority, over time other things will creep up and become a priority for you.
Here are 15 key basics things that new couples should do to sustain their marriage.
1. Continue going out on dates with just the two of you. This gets harder as kids get involved, but if you do not spend quality time together each week, you will drift apart.
2. Communicate, communicate, communicate! Do not assume the other person can read your mind, tell them what you want.
3. Always remember you are a team. Try to do what is best for the team, not what is best for the individual, help each other out.
4. Remember that sometimes it is better to be happy than it is to be right. While healthy conflict is very important, some arguments aren’t worth it.
5. Make time for sex, pencil it in if you have to. Most married couples start out with that not being a problem, but over time you might be surprised. Even if you guys aren’t in the mood, don’t skip that part too long.
6. Don’t lose your individuality. The healthy, happy you is the one your spouse fell in love with, make sure to continue some healthy hobbies and friendships on your own so you can stay healthy and happy.
7. Get to know each other well. Always share your likes tastes and preferances with one another. Enjoy the similarities and accept the differences.
8. Never keep ANYTHING a secret from spouse they ought to know everything. Be best friends.
9. Never fight in front of children or elders. It distorts the environment of the house. Try to resolve issues on your own unless necessary, involve a third party.
10. Try and keep the spark of the marriage alive always. This can be achieved by maintaing simple rituals like say, hugging each other before going to work. A small goodnight peck. These things will appear small or unessary in the long run but trust me it will keep your bond strong.
11. Delegate responsiblities about money, household chores and childrem initially so that one partner is not unessarily burdened. Make boundries clear initially itself so that there are no quarells in future.
12. NEVER indulge in infidelity. Come what may. If you are attarcted to another person share this with your partner and resolve the issue immediately.
13. Maintain cordial ties with in laws even if you dislike them so as to maintain peace and harmony.
14. Appriciate the small things in one another. Cooking a special meal, getting a head massage, doing the laundry when one of you returns from home tired. Because love is not in the magnanimous and elaborate gestures. It is in simple things.
15. Love grows with time. It becomes deeper as each day passes. So keep saying ‘I Love You’ to one another as and when you feel it. Dont shy because honestly no oneone gets tired of hearing it.