YOU don’t have to be Jennifer Lopez or Eva Mendes to snare a committed and adorable younger fella. You just have to be open to it.
I met a younger man in my early twenties and we are now approaching our eighth year together (and fourth year of marriage). So often women overlook this sizeable and fun pool of potential suitors in pursuit of a traditional older man.
Is this for security, commitment, to feel taken care of? Because we think we should? I am so happy my now husband persisted in his pursuit of dating me all those years ago. After giving it a chance (and after a few months together), I realised it really was an ideal match. And eight years on I know it for certain.
Lets consider the fact that men date and marry younger women All. The. Time. Despite there being no formal statistics, we are increasingly open and accepting as a society as to who we date and the trend of going younger is certainly catching up with women — hello Demi Moore, Jennifer Aniston, Deborra Lee-Furness and Madonna. Perhaps its time to have some more of what the men are havin’.
While every case is unique and every man is an individual, there can certainly be some perks to going a little younger. Here is why, if you are a single lady, it can be beneficial to give a youthful love interest a serious shot:
1. It’s more about you
Unlike with an older man who is established, has a career, stress and lots of obligations, your younger gentleman friend will be interested in you. He will be impressed by your achievements and look up to your success. Over time this may balance out but it starts out with you as the accomplished, independent, cool one. This sets the tone for the whole relationship.
2. They are energetic
Recently my friends and I had a catch up over a downtown dinner. We are all around age 30. Our partners range from 27-42. Around 11PM we wanted to go out for dancing and champagne and invited all the boys. The girls with younger (or close in age) partners we joined by their fella but the girls with older men partied without theirs. Younger men can have stamina, energy and more general enthusiasm for the activities and social events we enjoy.
3. They step it up for you
Younger men love to impress. In the presence of an older female that they are attracted to, their testosterone goes into overdrive. They become the best, smartest and most mature version of themselves in an instant.
4. They love to experiment
One of the most fun things about dating younger is that typically the younger the man is, the more new things he is susceptible to try. My thirty three year old lawyer friend recently went on a second date with her twenty seven year old guy, an advertising sales executive, and they went surfing!
What a cool and different experience from the conventional dinner/drinks/movie dates she has had with fellow lawyers her age or older. My friend is outdoorsy and very active. I am pleased to say that they continue to hit of off and she is having a blast!
5. They are less jaded
A man over 35 who is single can be hurt from a past relationship, or if they have never been involved in a serious one they might be suffering from commitment issues. One of my forty-something friends said that she loves being around younger men because they are baggage free.
Younger men have had less time to be hurt and become cynical and so are they are more open and optimistic about love. This vibe is endearing, honest and encouraging to be around. This sincerity and positivity can also bring out the best in us.
6. They make you feel young
We become like the people we surround ourselves with. A younger man has younger friends, pursues different activities and can have a simpler take on life. This in turn will make you feel more like his age than your own. Being around a younger person’s lifestyle can be fun and fresh.
7. They appreciate you
An older woman can bring a lot to the table — emotionally, financially and from the perspective of general life experience. Younger men can talk to an older woman and really value their knowledge and sense of perspective.
So long as the younger man has a mature head on his shoulders and knows the remarkable nature of the relationship dynamic and how lucky he is (and they often do!) – a younger man can make you feel truly adored and special.
8. It comes back to what matters
So often without knowing it, we make decisions on whom we date based on friendship circles, career commonalities and income expectations. Going younger and disregarding these traditional things is freeing and we come back to what matters — who we connect with and what we have in common.
Who said a love of travel, snowboarding and sushi can’t be the basis for kicking off a relationship? Taking rules, rigour and conventionality out of the dating game brings us back to who we truly are — people who just want an emotional and physical connection with another person. And this my friends, knows no age limitations.
Now don’t get me wrong, every relationship is distinctive and older men are certainly awesome too. Age certainly does not define who we are as humans. Younger men can also bring their challenges if they are non-committal, have immature friends or are yet to grow up and take financial control of their lives.
The importance here is just being receptive. Love can be hard enough to find without imposing rules of “must be older, established, accomplished.” Younger men can have tremendous potential and in time you can achieve your dreams together. Seeing things differently and refusing to rule someone out based on age is totally worth exploring.
Oh, and if you happen to meet a Ryan Gosling lookalike, that certainly wouldn’t hurt.